Our students at Hofstra University in introductory- and advanced-level Geology Department courses commonly "check-in" with me during the semester to complain about the excesses of course work, the difficulty of exams and/or laboratory exercises, the rigors of the outdoor field trips, the high price of exam copies offered for purchase before the exam date, and a myriad of other complaints. Recognizing the need to "capture" students at their best, I have assembled a bevy of images from those that allowed themselves the indulgence of complaint in my office. It's as if the good Dr. M's office were the complaint department at Caldor's in the Roosevelt Field Mall!

Thus, we present the "big complainers" of 1998-2000 arranged in the order of complaints filed. The early complainers of 1998 are followed by later complainers.  More to come, stay tuned.

Hey Doc, about that lab I never handed in..... how about cutting me some slack.

You were supposed to take that administrative bullet for me, what happened.

I'm ready for lab.

Do you really think I can get a real job in this rock stuff?

Working in the Geology Department all these years has made me wiser, no doubt.

It just goes to show that if you can't draw a straight line, you're nowhere.

Eric Cartman told me I can find Cheezy Poofs here.

Grind, grind, grind - when are these thin sections actually done?

Merguerian, can't we do better than this?  Safety is fine but what about style!

See, I do look OK without those Foster Grants.

I made 2 million bucks in stocks just yesterday without finding one becke line.

All this Geology stuff just leaves me cold. 

We should have taken Astronomy. 

Astrogeology?  I thought it was Astrology. 

Now what?  Isn't it bad enough I have to take a Geology course? 

No way, I'm not going on that field trip to New Jersey.  What's next Montana? 

I just wanted to score a copy of the final exam not pose for Soldier of Fortune. 

And you think this dictionary will help me figure out this Geology stuff? 

Don't worry, we're not looking to take up your whole day - we have a class. 

Do you really read all these books or are they just for show? 

Furthermore, that waterfall in New Jersey was full of tires and Coney Island lungfish. 

Maybe if we pose nicely he'll pass us. 

I don't need this Geology stuff.  I have a family business to fall back on. 

OK, OK!  I will pass that exam if it's going to kill me. 

Porphyritic texture?  What in the hell are you tawking about? 

Not again!  I like Geology not Photography. 

So you really think I have a future in rock skipping? 

My sister took this course and said you were tough.  Can we cut a deal? 

Are you the teacher or the entertainment? 

When you get off the phone could you please answer a question for me? 

Billy said you could help us get out of doing a lab. 

Still on the phone?  We're waiting. 

Come on, I just can't seem to get the answer to #4. 

Please, just give me a B+.  I'll be your best friend.  Get you coffee. 

We're here to kick your butt.  Smile when we talk to you. 

Hey Doc, can you lend me twenty bucks until next week.  Big party this weekend. 

I hope you've all enjoyed your fleeting minutes of fame gracing the Geology Department Student Gallery Complainer's Page. I've enjoyed working with all of you (despite the numerous complaints!). If I have the luxury of one complaint of my own to share with you all - it's this: The fact that many of you have now left the University and are still phoning in complaints.  Stop!  Remember - the reason I can't change that "F" that resulted in your executive position at American Burger or your taxi and limousine license is because it's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give!.

Dr. Charles Merguerian (c) 1998