Ganzeh Galus Guide: Jewish Revival in the Deep Diaspora
Chumra of the Week Club
(an anonymous Internet contribution)
Mehadrin Min Hamehadrin Min Hamehadrin is pleased to present:
Are you jealous of Yankel's Chumras? Do you want to go one (or more!) better than Shmerl? Have you ever been tongue-tied when asked: "Maybe you have a new little Chumraleh for me?" If you have been faced by any of these dreadful scenarios, join up now!
Chumrah of the Week Club is a new concept in real, authentic Yiddishkeit. Upon joining, we will immediately send you - as your introductory selection - the choice of three Chumras in any of our present-day Chumra fields (more to be added later).
Choose from Chumras in:
(Sorry, due to market economics, we must limit ourselves to Bain adam lamakom.)
After receiving your three introductory Chumras, you will receive, each week by mail, a new, exciting additional Chumra which you can immediately put into use. Within a short time you will have amassed a Chumra list that will amaze your friends and make you the envy of your Kollel or Shul. Our guarantee: if the Chumra we send you is inappropriate for any reason, you are entitled to exchange it within 7 days of receipt for a new Chumrah of your choice.
Reasons for exchange include:
We can assure you that all our Chumras are of the highest quality. We have a full-time staff busy combing the Bar Ilan CD ROM for the most obscure Chumros. (For an added fee, we can guarantee a personal Chumra taken from a source other than the CD ROM - guaranteed to be unique and to amaze all your friends.)
To apply for Chumra of the Month Club, please fill out the following form scrupulously:
Name________ ben ______ ben ______ ben _____ (Sorry, anyone unable to supply genealogical data for the past four generations is not eligible).
Check the type of Chumras you wish to receive:
Among the obscure Chumras we have found for our many overjoyed customers, we have used the following literary sources: the "Pi Ha'ason," the "Al Tagidu Be'gas," and the "Shtus Vehevel."
Don't Wait Another Minute: Join the Chumra of the Week Club now, and change your entire life style, while serving as a source of heavenly envy for all your friends.
Remember our motto: " 'Yiras Shamoyaim' means fear of what the other guy will say."