GEOLOGY FIELD TRIP RULES
The following rules, first organized by Kevin Higgins and Brendan Jordan and then modified by the words and deeds of other Hofstra students, apply to all departmental field trips in which you will participate. As many of these rules apply to life in general, you should heed all rules.
1. Never ever ask "what's next?", "where are we going?", "when will we get there?", or "when are we getting back?" Rule 1a. (The Regan Corollary) – Never break Rule #1 while backing away from the Gittleson Hall loading dock on the initial day of any field trip.
2. Don't bother anyone before breakfast unless you are a morning person and have acquired special permission.
3. Never speak at breakfast unless spoken to.
4. Never approach a surface outcrop before the professor. Students may enter any subsurface adit, pit, cavern, or mine shaft, first, however.
5. Do not stand so that you will be at a greater elevation than the professor while he or she is lecturing.
6. Avoid standing in front of the professor at any time.
7. While in the van or bus do not sit in Dr. Merguerian's seat.
8. Never attempt to borrow money from a professor.
9. Never end the semester owing a professor money. The converse is, however, acceptable.
10. Leave the jokes to the professor.
11. No back seat driving. Unless you are the navigator or have been specifically asked, do not give the driver any instructions.
12. Never read the comics out loud at breakfast or while driving in the van.
13. The President and Vice-President/Chief Decision Maker sit in the primary van seats. At a certain point on all field trips, certain seats become most desirable. Avoid being in the way at these times.
14. Loud music and smoking are strictly forbidden during the vehicular phase of all field trips unless you provide a personal walkman and portable iron lung or decompression chamber.
15. All club officers, past and present, are exempt from all fire duties. These include such things as finding wood, starting the fire, and maintenance.
16. Always get receipts for all expenses for subsequent donation to the professor.
17. When in natural surroundings, pack out what you pack in.
18. Read the rules carefully. Never ask, "What are the rules?".
19. Never be the last person to board the van more than once in a row.
20. Special rules are invoked during long-duration return trips in the driving rain or in heavy traffic. These include the following:
A) Absolutely no singing of grunge-rock, hip-hop, rap, or heavy metal while seated near Dr. Merguerian.
B) Use of the radio is limited to the driver's discretion and the front speakers.
C) Discussion of social issues is limited to one fifteen-minute period per field day.
D) The Hess Rule – Never talk for more than 30 minutes straight without eliciting some form of feedback from the person you are speaking to.
21. Never complain and always remember the famous saying, “If you don’t like it, too bad”.
22. Never be the one to ask, “Is this the last stop?”on the last day of a weekend field trip.
23. When you are 15 minutes late, never walk towards the van at a leisurely pace.
24. Never complain to the Professor that he or she is late when the van is pre-parked in the lot.
25. Cell phone calls from family members inquiring as the timing of trips are strictly forbidden.
26. Never buy two cups of coffee within 2-3 minutes of one another.
27. Most importantly, what happens in the field stays in the field. There is no need for the circulation of tall tales here on campus. If, however, these tales enhance greater student participation or professional neck rubs, talk as much as you like, and lastly,
28. Obey all rules!
Updated 22 September 2005
Filename: rules.htm