Hofstra
University
School
of Education
THERAPY WITH CHILDREN OF DIVORCE
MFT 232 Dr. Joan D. Atwood.
Summer
Session I
1.5 S.H.
COURSE OUTLINE
Office
Phone: 516-463-5756
E-Mail: CPRJDA@Hofstra.Edu
Office
Hours: To be announced.
COURSE
DESCRIPTION:
This course explores how to do therapy with parents and
children about various issues they might have during separation and
divorce. The focus is on the children-
-how to recognize their experiences of divorce and how to do therapy with them
through this process. Discussion of
various denial processes a child may use, feelings of abandonment a child may
experience when his/her parents are separating or divorcing and the therapeutic
techniques associated with each are explored. These issues are explored within
the context of current research. Methodological issues are also explored.
COURSE
OBJECTIVES:
This course familiarizes the student with the issues that
are specific to children experiencing divorce. Specific focus is on the
methodology involved in the major research in this area. Additionally,
therapeutic techniques are presented, along with the theoretical formulation of
the approaches.
When the student has successfully completed this course,
s/he is expected to:
-
be familiar with the possible reactions children may
experience as a result of their parent's separation and divorce.
-
be aware of how these reactions may differ according to
age.
-
explore their own biases about children of divorce and how
these biases may effect their therapeutic work.
-
be familiar with the current research in the field
regarding children of divorce, along with the methodological problems.
-
through the use of video tapes and role plays, explore the
role of various family members in family therapy.
-
explore the role of the therapist in working with these
families.
-
explore these objectives in a collaborative, culture-gender
sensitive manner.
REQUIRED
AND RECOMMENDED BOOKS:
Students are required to purchase all required and
recommended books and are responsible for reading these books in their
entirety.
BOOKS:
1. Everett, C. (1989). Children
of Divorce: Developmental And Clinical Issues.
New York: The Haworth Press.
0-86656-886-7.
2. Gardner, R. (1970). The
Boys And Girls Book About Divorce.
New York: Bantam Books. 0-553-23387-4.
3. Gardner, R. (1976). Psychotherapy
With Children of Divorce. New
Jersey: Jason Aronson. 0-87668-566-5.
4. Hodges, W. (1986). Interventions For Children Of Divorce: Custody,
Access, & Psychotherapy.
New York: John Wiley. 0-471-52255-4.
STUDENT
RESPONSIBILITIES:
Students are responsible for all reading materials, class
attendance, and a thorough therapeutically focused research paper, the details
of which will be announced in class.
Grade for the course will be based on the following: Research Paper ( 40%), Class Projects (30%),
Meaningful Classroom Participation (20%), and Classroom Attendance (10%).
Personal
Exploration:
Throughout the semester, students are asked to explore the
following ideas:
-
Where did you learn about your attitudes and values toward
children of divorce?
-
What early messages were you given about this type of
family system?
-
What did you learn from your parents about this type of
family system? How do you think they influenced your attitude, meaning
and belief systems?
-
How do you think your particular, unique socialization history will influence your
working therapeutically with children of divorce?
-
Do you think that the very issues, problems you
"see" in these families, the very questions you ask, and the
therapeutic options you choose are influenced by your own personal history?
Your culture? Your gender? Your society? How specifically?
COURSE
CONTENT:
SECTION I: INTRODUCTION
The purpose of this section is
to help therapists commit themselves to working with their clients in order to
facilitate a "Good Divorce",
in which children are the central focus.
The focus of therapy is to assist divorcing adults to work toward
cooperative parenting and securing the future for their children while ending
their marital role. Therapists here learn to question and explore their own
biases and assumpti0ns. Another focus of the course is to assist therapists in
understanding that not all children have negative reactions to divorce and that
good parenting can assist them to assist their children during this
transitional process.
SECTION II. POSSIBLE REACTIONS
TO DIVORCE
This section focuses on
children’s possible emotional reactions to the divorcing process.
A. Short term Effects: Three-Stage Process
-
Pre-separation
-
Peri-separation
-
Post separation
B. Various Forms of Self Image Issues:
-Depression
-
Acting Out
-Psychosomatic
Complaints
-Withdrawal
-
Regression
-Poorer
Academic Performance
SECTION
III: CHILDREN'S GENERAL DEVELOPMENTAL
NEEDS:
-Dependency
-Stability
-Security
-Role
and Behavior Models of Adult Life
SECTION IV: VARIOUS FACTORS THAT MAY INFLUENCE CHILDREN'S RESPONSES TO DIVORCE
A. The Child's Age: Cognitive and Emotional
Developmental Age
0-3 year olds can
become acutely regressive in behavior
3-6 year olds may be
less regressive, toward others/self but more agitated and aggressive in
behavior which is expressed by specific thoughts and ideations such as guilt,
loyalty, choosing sides and rejection. While three and four years olds may be
irritable and aggressive, five and six-year-olds may be moody, aggressive, and
restless, but are able to talk about their fears and unhappiness.
6-12 year olds may be
highly anxious and aggressive, and may become immobilized by feelings of loss,
self esteem, depression, and most often spend their emotional energies in
school. They also may become resigned
to their lot in life (self-fulfilling prophecy) as a consequence of the divorce
experience. Seven and eight years olds
typically react with grief, and later resignation. Children at this age generally are learning to appreciate the
meaning of kinship; it may take them longer to adjust to the change in the
family structure. Nine and ten year olds
may react with intense anger and shame, usually blaming one parent for the
divorce. They may harbor unresolved
anger for a year or longer.
Teenagers may experience
divorce as extremely painful event, which produces conflicts and fears, caused
by feelings of depression, betrayal, abandonment and rejection. This may provoke power struggles, aggressive
acting out, withdrawal from the home and movement into the peer group. They may react with anger, depression, and
guilt. Teenage boys may feel especially
pressured to grow up quickly; teenage girls may blame the divorce on their
mother's inadequacies as a wife.
B. The Child's Gender and Possible Consequences of Divorce
-Some research suggests that children
denied of a close relationship with the same sex
parent may
have greater difficulty with emotional adjustment.
-Boys
generally may tend to act more aggressive, independent and disobedient when a
close relationship with the same sex parent is denied them.
-Girls generally
may tend to act out less than
boys do; however, how they may behave with men, how comfortable they may feel,
may be affected by the divorcing process.
C. Marital . Here the
couple and parental relationship is explored with the focus on assisting the
unit to work together as a family
SECTION V: SOME PROBLEMATIC
TRANSITIONAL PROCESSES
A. Continuity of the Couple Unit.
This refers to the need
of one or both individuals to continue the couple relationship despite the
dissolution of the marriage vs. complete transition which:
1. Prevents the transition into two separate
parent family systems
2. Inhibits healthy role models for
relationships for children
B. Interrupted Mourning. Prevents mourning which prevents people from
reestablishing themselves as:
1. Fully functioning persons who are
2. Emotionally free to relate to others
SECTION VI: POSSIBLE LONG TERM EFFECTS
A. Triangulation
1. Remain emotionally stuck/tied to the divorce
and unable to adequately maintain emotional relationships with others
2. Self-and other image issues: self fulfilling prophesy/beliefs regarding:
-
self worth
-
marriage
B. Myths such as the fantasy of reuniting nuclear family
C. Possible Depression
D. Impact on Future Generations
SECTION VII:
CHILDREN REQUIRE COOPERATIVE, LOVING ADULTS
FOR HEALTHY DEVELOPMENT
A. Emotional needs are stifled when the parent does not separate
from each other emotionally.
-Prevents
the re-organization of certain relationships (child-parent) and the
continuation of other responsible ones (parenting)
-Keeps all
parties emotionally stuck in pre-existing
relationships
-Interferes
with all other and future emotional rela-
tionships
(marital, family, parenting, child-parent)
-Prevents
the mourning process which prevents people
from
re-establishing themselves as functioning persons
and emotionally free to relate to others
-Keeps
everyone, especially the children emotionally
stuck/tied to the divorce and unable to
adequately
maintain
emotional relationships with others
-Self- and other-image issues: Self-fulfilling
prophesy/beliefs
regarding self-worth and marriage
-Keeps
alive myths, such as the fantasy of reuniting
nuclear
family, and depression
B. PsychoEducation. What Do Children Need and What Can Parents Expect from Them at Different Ages
C. How to Facilitate the Parenting of Children of Divorce
-Facilitating
Language
-Assisting
the Parent In Maintaining a Stable Environment for Them
-Aiding the
parent in Maintaining Open Channels of Communication
-Teaching
Parents To Keep Children Out of Their Problems
D. How to Help Parents
Manage the Children's Emotional Reactions
F. Teaching Parents How
to Deal Effectively with Each Other
-Helping
the Grief Work
-Changing
from Marital to Parenting Roles
-Visitation
Arrangements
-Conflict
Management and Resolution
-Reducing
the Stress for Children Through a "Good
Divorce"