Chumra of the Week Club

(an anonymous Internet contribution)

Mehadrin Min Hamehadrin Min Hamehadrin is pleased to present:
The Chumra of the Week Club.

Are you jealous of Yankel's Chumras? Do you want to go one (or more!) better than Shmerl? Have you ever been tongue-tied when asked: "Maybe you have a new little Chumraleh for me?" If you have been faced by any of these dreadful scenarios, join up now!

Chumrah of the Week Club is a new concept in real, authentic Yiddishkeit. Upon joining, we will immediately send you - as your introductory selection - the choice of three Chumras in any of our present-day Chumra fields (more to be added later).

Choose from Chumras in:

• Fleishigs
• Milchigs
• Davening
• Clothing
• Tefillin and Tzitzit
• and many more.

(Sorry, due to market economics, we must limit ourselves to Bain adam lamakom.)

After receiving your three introductory Chumras, you will receive, each week by mail, a new, exciting additional Chumra which you can immediately put into use. Within a short time you will have amassed a Chumra list that will amaze your friends and make you the envy of your Kollel or Shul. Our guarantee: if the Chumra we send you is inappropriate for any reason, you are entitled to exchange it within 7 days of receipt for a new Chumrah of your choice.

Reasons for exchange include:

• You are already observing a Chumra of equal or greater stringency - unlikely - our Chumras are pre-selected for their uniqueness and stringency).
• Your neighbor is already observing a similar Chumrah, heaven forbid. You want to be the first one in your community with this Chumra.

We can assure you that all our Chumras are of the highest quality. We have a full-time staff busy combing the Bar Ilan CD ROM for the most obscure Chumros. (For an added fee, we can guarantee a personal Chumra taken from a source other than the CD ROM - guaranteed to be unique and to amaze all your friends.)

To apply for Chumra of the Month Club, please fill out the following form scrupulously:

Name________ ben ______ ben ______ ben _____ (Sorry, anyone unable to supply genealogical data for the past four generations is not eligible).

Address: _______
Phone:________
To custom-tailor your Chumra selection, please fill in the following:
Litvak? ____ Chassid? _____ FBB? (Frum Before Birth?)____
Nusach: Ashkenaz ____ Sefarad ____

Check the type of Chumras you wish to receive:

• Regular ____
• Super-frum ____ (add 50%)

Even greater uniqueness available - check with us for full details. All correspondence in this regard will be kept in the strictest confidence.

Among the obscure Chumras we have found for our many overjoyed customers, we have used the following literary sources: the "Pi Ha'ason," the "Al Tagidu Be'gas," and the "Shtus Vehevel."

Don't Wait Another Minute: Join the Chumra of the Week Club now, and change your entire life style, while serving as a source of heavenly envy for all your friends.

Remember our motto: " 'Yiras Shamoyaim' means fear of what the other guy will say."